Engaged.

Today, I found out that my best friend got engaged. I've known her since we were born; she's the one person in this whole world who I know I can trust more than anyone. She is so smart, so brave, and so strong, and she is someone I admire. She hasn't been with this guy this long, but I actually really like him and I trust her judgment. She told me, and I was actually genuinely happy for her.

However, of course, it got me scared. She's going to be twenty-three when she gets married in July. I'm going to be twenty-three by then. Being married now terrifies me. But I want to get married in the next five years, certainly. I want to have my child before I turn thirty. I don't want to be an old mom. And I don't want to be alone.

I know that I'm stronger than I ever used to be. I actually believe in myself. I struggle; lately, I've been really hating on my body. But I know boys find me pretty and interesting, because I am.

It's just scary. Everyone is starting to find their one now. Then I find someone who I really like. I like so much I see him and my heart stammers. I know, I know, that's typical. I like people; it happens all the time. And I always say, I've never felt this way before.

But then there's those people where it's effortless and it's wonderful, but you don't know what's going on and it tears you up inside. You know what you want and you know what it would be like. And everyone loves him. And that's good.

I'm rambling. I just want to see him now. I want to date.

I don't want to be alone anymore. It's time to find my person.