I am a rather large Doctor Who fan, and one of my favorite episodes is entitled "Vincent and the Doctor." In this episode, the eleventh Doctor and Amy Pond go to visit van Gogh. Vincent cries into his bed how everyone leaves him and how there is never any hope. He feels completely worthless, alone, and lost because he doesn't know what is wrong with him and he has no close friends. This episode always make me sob but I can't help but continuously rewatch it.
It also makes me remember a time in my life where I would do the same thing. Have you ever felt so completely utterly helpless that you didn't know what to do? Leaving your bed was a struggle and you felt as though everyone was against you and everyone would leave you? I never thought I would stop feeling that way, until three of my friends spoke up to me and saved my life. Those three girls did something that not even my boyfriend was willing to do - they made me realize what I was doing to myself. I felt that way again a couple years later but then, I was able to recognize it on my own and get the help I needed.
I never want to feel that hopeless again because I honestly don't think I could survive it.
We are so lucky to live in a time where there is proper care for people with mental illnesses. Despite what people may say about medication and therapy, without those things I would definitely not be around. There is absolutely no way. If only van Gogh had had those options when he was suffereing, but he didn't. He was a brilliant man who was underappreciated and so sad and so ill.
Be grateful when you feel hope and hold on to that. Remember those small moments of hope because they are what will get you through. You need those.
Hope is always there.
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