Achievements.

I used to think I could excel only if I was sick. In fact, I thought that recently. Yet this week, I've gotten nearly all of my work for the week accomplished by tonight. My mind is not overcome with thoughts - yes, there are negative ones, there will always be negative ones. But I came home, I cleaned, I ate dinner, and then I rushed around accomplishing things. I didn't get to exercise today but I'm not panicking about it.

Four years ago, I would have gotten everything done too. But I wouldn't have taken the time to eat. I wouldn't have done the work to make myself feel better about myself but to take my mind off of other things. Three years ago, I wouldn't have gotten my work done because my thoughts were distracted. I was trying too hard to be different from the sick girl but in that way, I lost myself as well. Two years ago, I would have been the worst of both spectrums - would have wallowed and sulked but been too depressed to get anything done.

And here I am, able to be better at both things. I think this is what recovery feels like.