Well.

Well, today I put on a pair of pants I got years ago and they fit for the most part. I should be thrilled but I don't feel small even though I'm wearing them. I'm trying to, really hard. All I can think of are dreams to go back into treatment. It's so safe there and such a community and so familiar. I can wear sweatpants every day and fit in without feeling like a slob. I have food that I know won't hurt me and I have people to talk to who can understand what I'm going through. I wish like hell that I wasn't missing IOL as much as I do today. Or walden. I want a strong future but I don't want to be free right now.