I'm feeling really disgusting today. I have definitely gained weight since the semester began. I haven't had time to run a lot, and I've been so busy that I just keep eating to keep my brain going. Today, I had two really delicious meals. They're making me feel pretty horrible BUT they were so yummy. My grandparents made ham, squash, this eggplant-olive dish, and rolls. It was delicious. And then I came home and ordered chicken patia and got a twix bar. Yeah. Delicious.
So I reflected on when I was in the full fledged eating disorder stages. I would pick at these delicious meals or not even think about ordering something so rich. I pretended these foods sickened me. I guess in a way they did, but I could never have enjoyed them like I did today.
So there's that.
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