Ranting.

I do this thing sometimes where I pretend I'm famous for some reason or another, and people think it's worth their time to interview me. Then I come up with these genius replies, so I'm going to capture some of the random crazy thoughts that went through my head today... and I dictated on my drive home.

Women. Women are complex creatures. We are some of the strongest people I could ever know. We suffer through the obvious pains - having to gain weight at such a young age, being taller than boys when we're younger, having our periods, and maybe eventually having to give birth - but we have so many other hardships to deal with that so many people fail to consider. We have this identity that we must live up to. We're supposed to look a certain way and act a certain way. If we do something wrong, we immediately get labeled as a slut or a ditz or a prude. It is completely unfair. You see a girl at the bar who is dressed scantily and is flirting with boys. She is automatically considered a skank, even though you don't know her. I have been known to make this judgment, because I could never dream of leaving the house in a certain way. But you don't know why she is dressed like that, why she is acting the way she is, what she is feeling in the moment, who she has had to deal with. You just don't know. Women have these perceptions of what they are supposed to be and what everyone else is supposed to be. It's almost cruel that we have to live with this, but we just do. We put on a show, we do what we have to, to hide this pain we are forced to endure.

Relationships. I think all too often people use relationships as a crutch. You meet someone, they seem perfect, and therefore become the person onto which you can put everything. All of your pain, struggles, sadness suddenly because this other person's responsibility and baggage. In reality, this person should not be someone on which you completely depend. Instead, there should be a strong amount of mutual trust and understanding. When either of you need a hand, the other person should be there to give it to you and help you through whatever you're going through. They shouldn't solve your problems, but help you figure out a way to work through it. I also think that when relationships fail, we don't think about why they truly do. It seems to always come down to looks. I know when men aren't interested in me, it's because I'm not pretty enough or I'm too fat or some variation of those instead of the true meaning - we just aren't right for each other. The first thing we insult about the other person after the breakup is how they look. "Oh, he was going bald anyway." "We could never be together, he's so fat." If I broke someone's heart, the last thing I would want would be for them to insult my appearance. Why is it that those are okay things to say?

Rejection. People in general have such a difficult time with rejection. Rejection really sucks and everyone knows it. There is nothing more painful than those feelings. Those scars go deeper than the skin. I can remember falling off of a bus and scarring my hand but instead of remembering how painful it was to rip open my hand and bleed everywhere, I remember the humiliation I felt, and I remember how people were laughing. And that lasts forever. People laughed at me when I was four because I was adorable but I just feel shame and hurt whenever I think back on it. Rejection is similar. You never forget that rejection, whether it be from peers or a romantic interest. You blame it on yourself. Clearly someone is wrong with me, I am a doormat, I am annoying, I am so obnoxious, I am too unattractive, I don't deserve their love, I don't deserve anyone's love. Sometimes, people are just cruel and reject you because it's fun for them, even when you have done absolutely nothing wrong. And sometimes, people need to reject you because you don't work together and they are the ones willing to put on the hurt so that there won't be further injury through continuing this. Rejection really is horrible and painful, but often times necessary, which only makes it worse.

No one really thinks about these things that frequently. People consider them, but do they ever truly realize how much impact they can have on an individual?